15 February 2010
maybe now i will.
For that one news that i heard from people, i finally realise that Nobody can ever doubt the gifting from God. For that, my doubt and my worries will give back to Him and what ever He give will be the answer. Why doubt the gift of discernment when God is faithful enough to bless you with it. Now i learn, now i see. Now i finally understand. You are why i doubt and even God affirm me the answer, i just wont accept it. But things will change and i will understand. I will follow the direction and hear what He say. I may not obey, but at least i will try. For sure. You got me this far and i didnt even know. You are my weakness in letting you go. You can be forgotten but you are much more easier to be remembered. Cant you just go?
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
AND
*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
2:43 AM
13 February 2010
sometimes you just believe.
I used a very very long time to put you in a box and i kept it well inside me and one day, just one action, one word or one thing from you will simply just break the box and you start wandering around again. This time, i am ready to let everything go and just let you wander and one day, you will eventually wander out yourself and i will be a lot better. Perhaps i will be the first to show you how to be done and then you will continue with it. How long does it take for it to go? Why does everything seems so long and why cant people understand? I want to write everything down but when i look at this, i cant even think of a single feeling to write it down. Whatever it is, i just hope things will turn out better and if not, let it go with some understanding.
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
AND
*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
5:18 PM
30 January 2010
how do you learn?
Looking at the last entry, i can say that i doesnt have much to post or i am just being lazy to post. It has been two months past the new year and i still cant find my time at all. Oh well, let's see what comes to my mind this time.
I can say that for my year of 2009, God had not just blessed me with certain group of people but also teach me life in different way thru different types of people. There's people that come and go every single year. May it be your best friends, good friends, normal friends, friends or just acquaintance. All will definitely have a life to live one day.
From them and by their actions, it is a lesson to learn. Though a new year brings a whole new atmosphere and resolution to every single one but there is always this one thing that will never change. The purpose of living a life to the fullest and finding one self.
Through every aspect of life from stepping out of the house to hanging out with just a ipod can actually be a lesson on how to be a better person. The problem is how are we going to stand and learn from that.
I once stood at an angle that brings me anger and never a day being lighten from anything. For that, it took me some time to understand how one stand and how one see from a different angle can cost one an 'expensive' lesson. By doing things that doesnt bring any smile to the face are every cents of the price we are paying.
Is it worth at all for a lesson that need not to be paid for? I think i'd just screwed up my 2010 but im still holding on to a faithful year of rest. I told myself that i will move to every angle no matter what the cost may be as long i can learn from what i missed out previously. It is the feelings that hangs over the thought and makes you want to move no matter what the cost may be.
C.S Lewis once said that 'Experience Is A Brutal Teacher, But We Learn.' Think about it and you will agree unknowingly. Let's stand at different angle and learn from every angle. Used it to find meaning in life. We human are often possessed by our own possessions.
Let's start learning alright?
listening - Where We Belong by Hillsong.
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
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*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
2:09 AM
28 December 2009
show hand and forget it.
Looking at the picture now, whether i say or dont, things wont be better anyway. So i am just going to do what i thought would be best last time but turn out otherwise. So what if it gets worst? It is already worst. If you dont think so and still think it is alright, that would be you already out of the picture.
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
AND
*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
1:10 AM
27 December 2009
HAPPY holiDAYS!!!
Merry Joyous Happy Christmas and A Promising New year to everybody!!! =)
I think that this christmas is very very dry and boring. I realise not just me feeling that but also a few of the people having the same feelings. Christmas eve was a RUSH! Book out of camp then rush down to town to get stuffs then tampines to collect thing then back home to wrap. By the time i reach home was already pass 4pm and i have to start wrapping everything and prepare to go for service at 730pm. After church, a few of us hang around to take photos and i met this brother of mine. Havent seen him for years and im glad he's doing well in church and life. =) While my group is heading to someone's house, i went over to hong kong cafe at katong there to meet up with D'chordals people. Had a countdown at some kopitiam. I dont know what to say but i think that's something new, kinda cool perhaps. While heading back home, one friend called to meet up at city city area. I was like, YOU CRAZY ar?! haha. Where to find transport at 1am plus? haha!!! So i didnt meet up in the end. Homed and bathed then SLEEP!
I cant believe on christmas day, i would actually end up doing the stupidest thing which is to take mrt to city hall wanting to see people perform and because of not having enough time to reach there before they finish, i took train to city hall and then back to tampines. On the way back, i text a friend and headed over her place for awhile. During the evening time, i went to sonn's house. Both ali-s were there and chris as well. Awhile later, we all went down to the playground to take PHOTOS! Crazy but AWESOME!! After sonn left, we went to pasir ris to eat with ah kok's family. AWKWARD. Dinner was nice and funny! =) Done with dinner and we all walk to the beach *of course not with her family la* haha!! Brought a couple of booze to drink and we didnt stay for long. Walked back to take bus with ali.
Post christmas at ross place was either AWESOME or STILL AWESOME. Maybe a little disappointed but is still expected. Anyway, we had a bbq over at ross place and some of us try to make red wine prawn and XO prawn. HAHA!!! Both turn out good. Not great but is still GOOD! haha =) What comes after eating? DRINKING of course! We played some fun poker card game and kept drinking till left <1/4>
Came back home and some time later, went out again with my family to eat at river view hotel's japanese buffet. Then now, here i am trying my best to recall what good happen for the pass few days.
What memorable for the past few days will be:
- Hongkong cafe with D'Chordals.
- Beach-ed with Chris and Ali-s
- Bus, waiting time, talk with ali.
- Ross bbq; making of XO prawns, drinking games.
- your's disappointment.
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
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*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
10:59 PM
09 December 2009
S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y
CAMP is a TOTALLY SCREWED!! I'm damn straight about that man. *sir is a camp where most men *i supposed* being treated unreasonably. Do exactly what they say and still end up in the wrong. The camp is like a GIRL that is always undecisive and men are always wrong because certain commander need scapegoat and therefore men are there for them to push responsibilities to. Welfare is only given to men WHEN commanders need men to cover things up for them. People talks about welfare and yet it is actually like a trade for men. Whatever it is, camp in that place is always SCREWED. Thou there are actually FEW, only a few good commanders that actually can be trusted.
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
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*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
12:43 AM
25 November 2009
what else is there to be done?
There are so many things that need to be said. So many stuffs that need to be heard. How many regrets are considered enough to make a person think a little more about how to cherish what they are doing now and then find out that it is useful in the future? I've things that i cant do now and i regret and because of all the time when im younger, i didnt take it as important as it is and therefore right now, i Regret! Should have put extra or even more effort on the learning and Not regret now. =( Though there is no point crying over spilled milk now. I thought maybe now is a better time to learn and see what i can do to cover the time i'd lost over the past years but it turns out otherwise. Everything has its own fullstop. And for that, i guess the fullstop is coming really soon and that's another regret that i cannot avoid. How?
maybe i should try.
- " Go home, sleep on it. We'll talk more tomorrow."
maybe this is better.
listening - Waterfall by Jon Schmidt
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
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*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
1:52 AM
24 November 2009
Concert!!
Today's evening for me started with a choir concert by DMN, SJI, CJC, RI held at SJI's chapel. Sheila, Gerald and me attended! Seriously, i haven't been to a chapel before and that makes it the first time for me. Concert was great. Those people can really project their VOICE man!! Nearing the end of the concert there's a Sing-along piece and i think it really brings the audience to somehow join in the fun of singing. =D After concert we went to tampines area to eat and headed down to TS. While waiting for sheila finish her class, daniel came down too. Sat at starbucks for quite awhile doing things and went back home.
listening - I Do by Jon Schmidt and Neal Middleton
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
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*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
12:27 AM
23 November 2009
all days.
Lately i've been clearing my off and leave. Long enough to called it as a holiday. I'd been to chalets and birthday party. You know, i've realise that a few things that i once prayed for is actually changing. There are times when i told myself what i am praying maybe will come or maybe not. But till few days back, i can say that the timing of things changing is not made known by God during the period after praying. You have to have a little faith. Prayer is to acknowledge that God is the creator is by praying to him means we know He is in charge and we bring the problem up to Him. He plans everything and He wants you to communicate by praying to Him. I didnt know what's praying actually is untill i realise praying is to acknowledge, claims the problems and etc... I had actually claim those stuffs in my life and yet i dont realise it till one by one come right in front of my face. God is Awesome. Seriously.
Few days back, i received a message from a friend that i didnt expect at all.I prayed and such for so long and now suddenly this friend message and im quite at a loss of words. I know what i can expect and what i can not expect. Simple enough, calls. For that i can expect but other than that, i dont. i'm still very happy that the message did came through to me. =)
There are things that you'd done and wish to undo it but knowing that you cant, the only thing to do is to pray. Pray that the positive side will come out instead of the bad and be better. That's what im hoping for now. oh dear........
listening - Our Last summer by Mamma Mia
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
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*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
12:45 PM
26 October 2009
Vulnerability or Strength?
Few days back when i was talking to a friend, he made in thinking till now even though he was the one that is troubled or rather frustrated. I wont say what happen exactly but what makes me thinking till now was about pleasing other, being acceptable by all, being imperfect. He had this ridiculous talk with a guy that he doesnt like and by means not to create an argument, he will keep quiet and listen.
The guy started to blame him continuously because of a small issue that is not his fault. After the talked, i walked pass my friend and end up talking to him. He told me he was avoiding argument and end up being so pissed about himself and shaken. He is a christian as well.
He said to love other is what we ought to do but why does it always end up being so bothered by everything that guy said? We are taught to love others, please others but we are not perfect therefore we cant always please others and do everything so smoothly. Does that make we vulnerable? And which of it make us vulnerable? Is that why people are so afraid of doing things or something else? People are all around and we know we care about what others think or say. How can we be better? After all, is that just moment of vulnerability or a moment of strength?
*[[ \\Living In Fullness// ]]*
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*[[ \\Living Under Grace.// ]]*
1:49 AM
