How Do I Even Fall Into It?

maybe now i will.

2010-02-15T02:43:00.003+08:00

For that one news that i heard from people, i finally realise that Nobody can ever doubt the gifting from God. For that, my doubt and my worries will give back to Him and what ever He give will be the answer. Why doubt the gift of discernment when God is faithful enough to bless you with it. Now i learn, now i see. Now i finally understand. You are why i doubt and even God affirm me the answer, i just wont accept it. But things will change and i will understand. I will follow the direction and hear what He say. I may not obey, but at least i will try. For sure. You got me this far and i didnt even know. You are my weakness in letting you go. You can be forgotten but you are much more easier to be remembered. Cant you just go?

sometimes you just believe.

2010-02-13T17:18:00.008+08:00

I used a very very long time to put you in a box and i kept it well inside me and one day, just one action, one word or one thing from you will simply just break the box and you start wandering around again. This time, i am ready to let everything go and just let you wander and one day, you will eventually wander out yourself and i will be a lot better. Perhaps i will be the first to show you how to be done and then you will continue with it. How long does it take for it to go? Why does everything seems so long and why cant people understand? I want to write everything down but when i look at this, i cant even think of a single feeling to write it down. Whatever it is, i just hope things will turn out better and if not, let it go with some understanding.

how do you learn?

2010-01-30T02:09:00.004+08:00

Looking at the last entry, i can say that i doesnt have much to post or i am just being lazy to post. It has been two months past the new year and i still cant find my time at all. Oh well, let's see what comes to my mind this time.

I can say that for my year of 2009, God had not just blessed me with certain group of people but also teach me life in different way thru different types of people. There's people that come and go every single year. May it be your best friends, good friends, normal friends, friends or just acquaintance. All will definitely have a life to live one day.

From them and by their actions, it is a lesson to learn. Though a new year brings a whole new atmosphere and resolution to every single one but there is always this one thing that will never change. The purpose of living a life to the fullest and finding one self.

Through every aspect of life from stepping out of the house to hanging out with just a ipod can actually be a lesson on how to be a better person. The problem is how are we going to stand and learn from that.

I once stood at an angle that brings me anger and never a day being lighten from anything. For that, it took me some time to understand how one stand and how one see from a different angle can cost one an 'expensive' lesson. By doing things that doesnt bring any smile to the face are every cents of the price we are paying.

Is it worth at all for a lesson that need not to be paid for? I think i'd just screwed up my 2010 but im still holding on to a faithful year of rest. I told myself that i will move to every angle no matter what the cost may be as long i can learn from what i missed out previously. It is the feelings that hangs over the thought and makes you want to move no matter what the cost may be.

C.S Lewis once said that 'Experience Is A Brutal Teacher, But We Learn.' Think about it and you will agree unknowingly. Let's stand at different angle and learn from every angle. Used it to find meaning in life. We human are often possessed by our own possessions.

Let's start learning alright?

listening - Where We Belong by Hillsong.

show hand and forget it.

2009-12-28T01:10:00.002+08:00

Looking at the picture now, whether i say or dont, things wont be better anyway. So i am just going to do what i thought would be best last time but turn out otherwise. So what if it gets worst? It is already worst. If you dont think so and still think it is alright, that would be you already out of the picture.

HAPPY holiDAYS!!!

2009-12-27T22:59:00.012+08:00

Merry Joyous Happy Christmas and A Promising New year to everybody!!! =)

I think that this christmas is very very dry and boring. I realise not just me feeling that but also a few of the people having the same feelings. Christmas eve was a RUSH! Book out of camp then rush down to town to get stuffs then tampines to collect thing then back home to wrap. By the time i reach home was already pass 4pm and i have to start wrapping everything and prepare to go for service at 730pm. After church, a few of us hang around to take photos and i met this brother of mine. Havent seen him for years and im glad he's doing well in church and life. =) While my group is heading to someone's house, i went over to hong kong cafe at katong there to meet up with D'chordals people. Had a countdown at some kopitiam. I dont know what to say but i think that's something new, kinda cool perhaps. While heading back home, one friend called to meet up at city city area. I was like, YOU CRAZY ar?! haha. Where to find transport at 1am plus? haha!!! So i didnt meet up in the end. Homed and bathed then SLEEP!

I cant believe on christmas day, i would actually end up doing the stupidest thing which is to take mrt to city hall wanting to see people perform and because of not having enough time to reach there before they finish, i took train to city hall and then back to tampines. On the way back, i text a friend and headed over her place for awhile. During the evening time, i went to sonn's house. Both ali-s were there and chris as well. Awhile later, we all went down to the playground to take PHOTOS! Crazy but AWESOME!! After sonn left, we went to pasir ris to eat with ah kok's family. AWKWARD. Dinner was nice and funny! =) Done with dinner and we all walk to the beach *of course not with her family la* haha!! Brought a couple of booze to drink and we didnt stay for long. Walked back to take bus with ali.

Post christmas at ross place was either AWESOME or STILL AWESOME. Maybe a little disappointed but is still expected. Anyway, we had a bbq over at ross place and some of us try to make red wine prawn and XO prawn. HAHA!!! Both turn out good. Not great but is still GOOD! haha =) What comes after eating? DRINKING of course! We played some fun poker card game and kept drinking till left <1/4>

Came back home and some time later, went out again with my family to eat at river view hotel's japanese buffet. Then now, here i am trying my best to recall what good happen for the pass few days.

What memorable for the past few days will be:
- Hongkong cafe with D'Chordals.
- Beach-ed with Chris and Ali-s
- Bus, waiting time, talk with ali.
- Ross bbq; making of XO prawns, drinking games.
- your's disappointment.

S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y

2009-12-09T00:43:00.003+08:00

CAMP is a TOTALLY SCREWED!! I'm damn straight about that man. *sir is a camp where most men *i supposed* being treated unreasonably. Do exactly what they say and still end up in the wrong. The camp is like a GIRL that is always undecisive and men are always wrong because certain commander need scapegoat and therefore men are there for them to push responsibilities to. Welfare is only given to men WHEN commanders need men to cover things up for them. People talks about welfare and yet it is actually like a trade for men. Whatever it is, camp in that place is always SCREWED. Thou there are actually FEW, only a few good commanders that actually can be trusted.

what else is there to be done?

2009-11-25T01:52:00.002+08:00

There are so many things that need to be said. So many stuffs that need to be heard. How many regrets are considered enough to make a person think a little more about how to cherish what they are doing now and then find out that it is useful in the future? I've things that i cant do now and i regret and because of all the time when im younger, i didnt take it as important as it is and therefore right now, i Regret! Should have put extra or even more effort on the learning and Not regret now. =( Though there is no point crying over spilled milk now. I thought maybe now is a better time to learn and see what i can do to cover the time i'd lost over the past years but it turns out otherwise. Everything has its own fullstop. And for that, i guess the fullstop is coming really soon and that's another regret that i cannot avoid. How?

maybe i should try.
- " Go home, sleep on it. We'll talk more tomorrow."
maybe this is better.

listening - Waterfall by Jon Schmidt

Concert!!

2009-11-24T00:27:00.002+08:00

Today's evening for me started with a choir concert by DMN, SJI, CJC, RI held at SJI's chapel. Sheila, Gerald and me attended! Seriously, i haven't been to a chapel before and that makes it the first time for me. Concert was great. Those people can really project their VOICE man!! Nearing the end of the concert there's a Sing-along piece and i think it really brings the audience to somehow join in the fun of singing. =D After concert we went to tampines area to eat and headed down to TS. While waiting for sheila finish her class, daniel came down too. Sat at starbucks for quite awhile doing things and went back home.

listening - I Do by Jon Schmidt and Neal Middleton

all days.

2009-11-23T12:45:00.004+08:00

Lately i've been clearing my off and leave. Long enough to called it as a holiday. I'd been to chalets and birthday party. You know, i've realise that a few things that i once prayed for is actually changing. There are times when i told myself what i am praying maybe will come or maybe not. But till few days back, i can say that the timing of things changing is not made known by God during the period after praying. You have to have a little faith. Prayer is to acknowledge that God is the creator is by praying to him means we know He is in charge and we bring the problem up to Him. He plans everything and He wants you to communicate by praying to Him. I didnt know what's praying actually is untill i realise praying is to acknowledge, claims the problems and etc... I had actually claim those stuffs in my life and yet i dont realise it till one by one come right in front of my face. God is Awesome. Seriously.

Few days back, i received a message from a friend that i didnt expect at all.I prayed and such for so long and now suddenly this friend message and im quite at a loss of words. I know what i can expect and what i can not expect. Simple enough, calls. For that i can expect but other than that, i dont. i'm still very happy that the message did came through to me. =)

There are things that you'd done and wish to undo it but knowing that you cant, the only thing to do is to pray. Pray that the positive side will come out instead of the bad and be better. That's what im hoping for now. oh dear........

listening - Our Last summer by Mamma Mia

Vulnerability or Strength?

2009-10-26T01:49:00.004+08:00

Few days back when i was talking to a friend, he made in thinking till now even though he was the one that is troubled or rather frustrated. I wont say what happen exactly but what makes me thinking till now was about pleasing other, being acceptable by all, being imperfect. He had this ridiculous talk with a guy that he doesnt like and by means not to create an argument, he will keep quiet and listen.
The guy started to blame him continuously because of a small issue that is not his fault. After the talked, i walked pass my friend and end up talking to him. He told me he was avoiding argument and end up being so pissed about himself and shaken. He is a christian as well.
He said to love other is what we ought to do but why does it always end up being so bothered by everything that guy said? We are taught to love others, please others but we are not perfect therefore we cant always please others and do everything so smoothly. Does that make we vulnerable? And which of it make us vulnerable? Is that why people are so afraid of doing things or something else? People are all around and we know we care about what others think or say. How can we be better? After all, is that just moment of vulnerability or a moment of strength?

2009-10-14T19:33:00.002+08:00

Thought i could blog about my life recently, my mind went blank and im staring at the screen dont know where to start and what to type. Okay, for the past weeks, i'd watched a few good movies with a group of awesome friends. Realized i missed service quite a number of times due to my duty in camp. Camp is seriously so screwed up!! I suppose when you work hard for something too much, you will end up losing the whole piece of it rather than owning some of it. There's a limit on everything. What should have been done, when to keep a distance or in fact, how to make it better? It is all about limit. "When everybody wants a piece of you, you run and you might get away and find a reason." "When there a problem or promises that we cant handle, we run like hell, hoping they'll be forgotten. But sooner or late, they always catch up. And maybe at the end of it, it isn't worth running away afterall.

listening - True by Ryan Cabrera

GEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

2009-09-24T02:41:00.003+08:00

I am SO sO so TIRED!! Let's see how long can i actually last. Make it a challenge! =)

A not so fruitful holiday!!

2009-08-31T18:56:00.000+08:00

ARGHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh.... Hate this holiday. Is not suppose to be bored but somehow, i dont enjoy the holiday at all. Kind of feel screwed. No idea why. AND BLOGGER IS SO S SCREWED. GUI got problem for my laptop only i think. Cant change font colour, font type, etc......... SHIT!

My past few days had been so wasted! Seriously! Other than those days that are wasted, i went back to camp to do guard duty during my period of leave. Some people are just SO DAMN STUPID!!!!!! I went to funan to look for notebook, do some research. Hopefully to get one soon! Watched three movies during this period. Where got Ghost (BAD stuff), BandSlam (awesome plus we got the WHOLE theatre to OURSELVES.), The Proposal (NICE and Funny and Great!) Baybeat-ed yesterday after im done with my stuffs. Met jovin, and people for dinner first then headed to baybeat. Left at 11plus. Some bands were good.

Get it over and done with.

2009-08-24T14:58:00.000+08:00

Looking at my last entry, i believe time really flies. Important phrase for me in army is over and currently we're focusing on some shit work that we didnt complete as one last time and we are doing it soon. Though it is shit work, but when you actually count it, it gives you a PILE of shit work. Nonsense stuffs and everybody just hate it! Well, that's camp!

Saturday had combined service at suntec. Before going for service, i met some friends up in the morning at suntec as well. We ate our lunch at one duck restuarant at raffles city (i think). The meat of the duck was WOW!!!!!!!!! But kind of costly. Had 7 people at our table and we ordered one whole duck and 2 side dishes. One person $13+. After having duck as our lunch, we went to burger king for some fellowshipping. Talked, joked and mostly enjoyed ourselves. Some girls wanted to shop before heading back home so we accompanied them and after they left, i went to suntec to meet my group people. Service on the night was mainly on financial stuff. After service, th group went to have supper and i went over to tampines to meet bubu and jumat. Slept over at khatijar's place.

Sunday came and i went over to sheila's place and left for dinner with my family at seoul garden. The food there was bad and VERY little varities. BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Paid a price for something that wont fill my stomach! The duck resturant at raffles city was even better and cheaper compared to seoul garden.

how to work?

2009-07-27T16:36:00.001+08:00

There's a gifting that you know you have but you dont know how to handle it. You know things much clearer and you see things better. But afterall, you do not know how to handle it. You cant do much to either improve or prove it. It is difficult to express it here. Whatever it is, that's still a gifting and you dont deny it.

Back to life. I came out on friday. Went to Langer birthday chalet at pasir ris. Stayed there till quite late and i drink quite a bit. haha... Saturday there's The Zone Conference at expo. Went there for the whole day program. The workshop and the concert. Hillsong United was part of the workshop. Pastor Judah Smith was there as well to share and preach. He's a zanny person when he preach. Concert at night WAS TOTALLY HIGH and TOUCHING. It wasnt just concert, songs or anything else. It was a night where all voice became one and visions of His will opens up. The whole view was spectacular and the feel of that place was indescribable. AWESOME!!!!!! After the concert, we went airport to eat popeye and that's all for the day!! Oh by the way, i saw quite a few familiar faces during and after the concert. Didnt expect to see them so i was kind of shock. haha.

2009-07-19T02:52:00.002+08:00

Week in camp had been so rush and meaningless lately. Dont even know what we are busy for and what we are doing. Well anyway, friday was ben's 21st birthday at pasir ris chalet. His birthday cake is cute. They got him the CJ 7 green colour fellow. *dont know what's the name* haha. Party was fun. Stayed till around 7plus then go back. Wanted to leave before the day break but too tired already so slept till morning. Reached home and slept till 2plus 3 like that. Pictures are at facebook. Bathed and went out after that. Suntec, dinner, Mad jack, lan shop to see see then bus-ed home. I'm still tired.

listening - Soon by Hillsong

Break Me Out!!!!!!

2009-07-05T11:56:00.002+08:00

My empty room
Crowded to soon
I look for the fire escape
I picture myself
Running like hell
Making my getaway

The walls are caving in with no warning
This ship is sinking, I gotta swim for it
I'm running out of air

Break me out tonight
I wanna see the sun rising anywhere but here
Come with me
Oh, this could be
The only chance we get
We gotta take it
We don't do it now we'll never make it
Lose this crowd
Oh break me out

Whisper of our feet
Sneak down the street
Some kind of secret race
They'll carry on
Won't notice we're gone
So easily replaced

The walls are caving in with no warning
This ship is sinking, I gotta swim for it
I'm running out of air

Break me out tonight
I wanna see the sun rising anywhere but here
Come with me
Oh, this could be
The only chance we get
We gotta take it
We don't do it now we'll never make it
Lose this crowd
Oh break me out

The walls are caving in with no warning
This ship is sinking, I gotta swim for it
I got a feeling we're better off anyway
I don't care what they say

Break me out tonight
I wanna see the sun rising anywhere but here
Come with me
Oh, this could be
The only chance we get
We gotta take it
We don't do it now we'll never make it
Lose this crowd
Oh break me out

Is all about God, isn't it?

2009-06-29T00:56:00.003+08:00

Have you been asking why lately? I've been asking why and until now i still dont know. So many things that i cant explain and i definitely cant control it as well.

Have you ever thought of why people that doesnt believe in God will blame God for bad things that happen to them? Because what they know about God is that God create all things including bad things. And why when people get things they want and have things done in their way, they forgot all about God? Because in their Brain, God is easy to blame. Giving credits to God makes them little. So rather than giving thanks God, they claim it as if they did it alone. So people can look up to them more. Who do you play the blame game with? when neither you nor your friends wants to admit a mistake? God. Is all about God. He's the easiest to put blame because you know he controls everything and creates everything. And YET you deny Him as someone who has your future. God doesnt create shit stuffs or bad things for you and us but HE will definitely MAKE all bad stuffs work together so that you WILL experience the goodness of Him and in the end, you will realize that it all work out in a better way.

And now, all i can do is to wait for His answer and show me how to walk this rocky road.

listening - Avalanche by David Cook

Hectic and boring!

2009-06-27T23:58:00.001+08:00

This week had been a very HECTIC, BUSY, MESSY, RUSHING, Lack of sleep week for me. Firstly, on monday we have to prepare for tuesday test in the field and rest time for us is not ENOUGH! Tuesday morning we went out to the field to do test and stuffs. Late afternoon then go back to camp. Then again, we have to prepare for wednesday field test part two. Which took up the WHOLE day when it is suppose to be a half day test. Got most of ourselves partially wet and that's the part where anger came right in. After getting wet, it is just the start of the test. When it finishes, the sky was already dark!!! When finally reach back to camp, it was around 8plus. So i had to rush to do all my stuff because i am booking out. By the time i was out, it's already 10plus. Imagine a half day program can drag till sooooooo LATE! Thursday was indeed a better day! Went to meet bubu at suntec to slack awhile and then to vivocity to meet my mom, sister and brother. Had marche for dinner. Wasn't that much variety and the oyster doesnt look fresh. Well anyway, it was still a great birthday dinner from my mom. =) Friday i met up with jumat together with bubu. Did nothing much, just walked around TampinesOne. Today, woke up rather late. Bubu asked me to accompany to sentosa since neal, alia, kak nor, shyanne and moshin are there. They were there for the cleo challenge thingy except for moshin. We went down for awhile and i left for church around 5plus. Had dinner with my brother's group and i left to khatijar's house. So basically, there's nothing much after the wednesday shit.

- feel kind of shitty and disappointed now. oh wells......

listening - Fall Away by The Fray

the whole week.

2009-06-20T23:57:00.001+08:00

Let's start from wednesday. I went to the airport to fetch bubu, rineal and alia. Waited there almost one hour after the landing and still none of any familiar faces appear. So i called bubu and when she picked up, i asked where is she and she replied me saying she's at vietnam!!!!!! I was like, SHIT!!!!!!! What messed up my dates? They are suppose to be back on thursday and not Wednesday! haha. It was a blooper and it was the first time ever in my life i made a huge mistake like this. HAHAHAHA!!! So i went back to camp.

Thursday, went out of camp to do some trainings. Before evening, everything was done, back to camp, i went out as well. Went to the airport again to fetch them. It was the CORRECT date this time. haha! Kak Nor, shyain (dont know how to spell. =x), fendi and yusoff were there as well. After they were out, we went to popeye to eat dinner and to starbucks for awhile.

Friday, stayed home to do something and evening time i went to starbucks to meet ts people. Played saboteurs for quite a number of rounds and i left to meet my mom and sister for prawn fishing!!! Kind of HOOK to it. Keep wanting to fish till prawns were all in my net. GREEDY!! Caught a few in two hours and the person there was NICE enough to give us some of their own prawns for us to bring back.

Today, Saturday, lunch at home. Prawns we caught were one of our dish. Taste nice! =) I went to suntec for awhile and then to church later on. Left during preaching. Head back to tampines to meet bubu and moshin was there. Caught I Love You Man with bubu. Movie was kind of real in life about friends. Had mcdonalds after movie and back home!

Some day before wednesday, my sister and mom went prawn fishing together with me. I forgot which day but it was FUN!!!

listening - I'd Come For You by Nickelback

stood in between the line.

2009-06-15T23:37:00.002+08:00

Making clear of the sight in front just so that i might not walk in the wrong direction. God be the light and compass so i may be in the right direction. I am blind in life, you'll be my walking stick. I lost my sense of belonging, you'll be my place to rest in. When the rain start falling, i start crying, you'll be my comfort and my shelter. ............................................................................ (to be continue.)

All About Sunday.

2009-06-15T19:05:00.003+08:00

Woke up in the morning rushing again to be at cityhall. Had a great fruitful time before going for lunch. For both times being there is a blessing. Not being able to go and meet up together for it will be a blessing in disguise. Had Lunch at fish & co. with gerald and he's sister and friend. Left for Sheila's BIRTHDAY celebration at Plaza Singapura around evening time and met the rest at cafe cartel. They had their dinner and Sheila cake cutting over there. There were kian yong, amy, terrance, yong chet, jolly, ding shen and of course, SHEILA! We left for minds cafe at tampines safra at night and played till they close. At last, after dropping amy and yong chet home, we went to pick winnie up and head over to east coast park to drink Erdinger! Hang out there for quite long and had a two bottles of beer. Really want to drink but not that night la. I like the car ride when all windows are down and the wind are like hitting on your face. Thought a lot and recalled a lot of things. Well, not forgeting - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHEILA !!!!!!!! Pray that you will have peace and great health all time and blessing will fall upon you like endless rain. =D Great day!

2009-06-08T00:56:00.003+08:00

Had a rush week after my duty. Imagine having last minute planning and booking of air ticket to hong kong in less than 24hrs and just for 3days 2nights. So sudden. Right after my duty, two days later i flew over to hongkong. Met Hope Hongkong people there and they ARE EXTREMELY HELPful and KIND!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cant thank them enough!! Seriously! First time took the plane alone because the flight that my mom and sister took has got no seats. My flight is 1hours after them. BUBU and Jumat sent me off that day. THANK YOU. Kept missing the chance to blog but anyway, I'll bullet out what we do and etc after touching hongkong.
- Took public transport to hotel.
- Room is really small.
- Met Hope HongKong people.
- Brought us to resturant to eat. (They actually booked a place already)
- Walk, Shop as usual when you are overseas.
- Took the same plane back together with mom and sister.
- Came back on friday late night.

Saturday went for youth service. Hanged out with East D bingliang's group for awhile then meet a friend back to tampines. Waited for winnie's reply and headed down to secondary school for camp thing. Mcdonald-ed at 201 then hongkong cafe at katong there. I keep having this feeling about something sad, anger, at that time for quite awhile. Where's the chance? Time is ticking but i dont seems to see it move. Reached home late.

Sunday (today) - Finally woke up for second. Gerald fetch me to suntec early in the morning. After that, we went to eat at subway and waited for gerald's friend then head to bugis area to get my sister's birthday cake. Glad that everything work out fine. Birthday party for my sister's 21St at a function room. Pictures will be out soon. (hopefully.) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU SISTER!!!!! HOPE YOU HAD ENJOY YOUR DAY!! This is the day the Lord has made for you. Ask and you'll be given. You are Greatly BLESS and Highly Favored therefore in Him you will enjoy sweetnes out of bitterness in life. =)

- We saw that gap, we saw that face of uncertain, cant deny but to face it. I tried and poof* gone. haha.

listening - We All Bow Down by Lenny LeBlanc

who's reading this title anyway.

2009-06-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

Finally is over. First and one out of the three. Two more during end june and august. During this ten day of shit, shits happen. That's why i call those ten days shits! haha... Is time for me to continue what i've been trying to do. Cant keep that promise to myself even though i set the date to start. I realize that i've been complaining and nagging at things about my life and i thank him for listening and understanding situations. Guiding me and helping me throughout the whole shit period. =) Why not ask youself about What can a life do without a stable and an eternal relationship? Where can you vent your anger to without someone beside you? Who can you vent you anger at? Who will listen to your complains, frustrations, sadness, sorrows and understands you so well? Where can you get a comfort from when you are filled with emotions? For all that, i tell you that there's only one man, one guy and one relationship that you can get into without any regrets at all in your lifetime! It aint no religion at all. Is all about relationship. Jesus is the only relationship that no one can deny. You can reject but you cant Deny Him for dying on the cross for us. Us = to You and Me. Rejecting the truth can be as long as you want but denying the truth, the fact is not going as long as you want because the truth had happen and you will have to accept and face it one day.

Brought my Mom, sister and brother to carousel for lunch. Is my mom's birthday and im glad she like it. =) HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you MOM!!!!! =D Happy BIRTHDAY to ROSS too!!! Blessings shall be yours! After eating lunch, we went to walk around town then back to tampines. Met up with bubu and jumat for dinner just now. Finally. Went to eat then to kak house. Chill till kind of late then back home.

you got me fooled for you quite awhile. (haha.)
listening - Rattlin' Bones by Kasey Chambers & Shane Nicholson

my throat!!!

2009-05-28T11:25:00.003+08:00

aaaaaAAAAhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH!!! My throat is HURTING ME!!! HELP me!!! Nose is unwell!!! Stupid dusts and enviroment. Whatever it is, In jesus name and IT will be GONE!! AMEN! I'll sing and i'll keep on singing.

2009-05-28T03:54:00.002+08:00

Today was A day. Went down to suntec after doing some stuff and had dinner over there. After the whole thing, i didnt join them for supper. So while walking back, gerald called and he was able to meet so i went back to tampines and chilled at starbucks for awhile till gerald came. Called daniel too. He's able to meet for awhile so we head over to his area and i ate my supper while waiting for him. Talked about my army shit and damn, is really a HOT topic. So daniel came down and talked to me about it together with gerald. More on advice about it. I think what gerald and daniel said was true and it is army that im serving.

Don't be afraid, Only Believe. That's what i need now. Im under grace and not under law. So things that are going to happen will be by the grace of God and my faith will not be stumble upon it. God sees the whole situation and He will be the justice on that. I thank God for wisdom and right words to fall and be with me. Words not to harm but words of grace. Let me be clear of what i say and not uncertain about what came out of my mouth. For all that, i Thank God In Advance in the name of Jesus. Amen!

listening - You Found Me by The Fray

Songs.

2009-05-26T23:25:00.005+08:00

Finally out for awhile. =) During duty time, i was listening to songs and every next songs speaks to me.

Besides that, it's quite a nice songs!!! =) I realize that most of them are the same singer too. Haha!!

1) Ordinary Days by Leon Jackson

2) Stargazing by Leon Jackson

3) You Don't Know Me by Leon Jackson

4) Misty Blue by Leon Jackson

5) Hate (I Really Don't Like You) by Plain White T's

6) Fingerprints by Leon Jackson

will you help me help me up.

2009-05-17T18:09:00.003+08:00

Im lost for words to say about whats going on. Just when im going deeper, the fact or the truth slap me in the face. Im sad, yes im sad. Not because of the truth, but because of what you had showed, said, done. I didnt ask you straight or directly is because i want to give you space, some things for you to keep to yourself at least. You know how i felt and you actually left me standing in between the line. I dont know what you are afraid of and i hope those words were not just a normal words of talking. =) I do wish things happen the ways you said but every thing was too sudden and ThiS is sudden.

Did you see me hanging now?

yesterday's service.

2009-05-17T13:54:00.002+08:00

Who says only when the musics, Praise and Worship is good then can bring people to the atmosphere of God? Talking, communicatiing with God doesnt need awesome music. Even if the music P&W sucks, if you want to talk to God, it will not be a problem at all. Ok, maybe the noise will distract the moment with God but nevertheless He is still there. After service, unit meeting.

what's worth afterall?

2009-05-17T13:41:00.000+08:00

I cant believe that i actually trade something worst for things that are NOT even comfirm. So Stupid. Really shitty stupid. Should have know that it will happen. What can i do? Make me feel, make me understand, make me see, make me realise that this is part of your play, your plan. HOT & COLD, HOT & COLD. Keep me hanging, keep me dangling and what's your thought about? Im like going against the wall over and over again knowing it will not fall. That's just your another trick. Good for you! In short, you just doesnt seems to be bothered.

Prayer.

2009-05-16T12:15:00.002+08:00

Prayer meet was good. Anointing flows, holy spirit pouring down, atmosphere was good too. Songs too little. Ended quite late. Met up with gerald and head over to meet sheila and daniel. Played pool for awhile then went to eat supper/dinner. Daniel didnt join. Gerald sent me back after eating. Thank God for the bunch of people!!! =D

Yesterday before prayer meeting was really shitty for me. The things were just pissing me and i left home to ts. TS also nobody, no sits. Really hate that particular afternoon. Message sheila and she called me quite sometime after that. So met her up for early dinner at tampines mall. Talked a bit and the conversation just kept spinning in my mind. I went over to suntec after eating.

How a moment changes a million after that.

Listening - Don't Call This Love by Leon Jackson

Prayer Meeting!!!

2009-05-15T16:14:00.001+08:00

Cant wait for the prayer meeting. Time should fly now.

Signs and signs.

2009-05-15T12:19:00.006+08:00

How many signs are there to make you see clearer and understand better? There are so many and yet i do not once care about one. I am angry. It seems like im an angry person all the time. The source of being angry is me being stubborn, ignoring the signs and going after what i want. It aint feel good. It the kind of bitter-sweet feelings im having. Is like me going giving up my weekends for trading that few hours of staying back in camp for something i think is worth. Some of you might not understand but for what is worth, i would. It may not turn out the way it expected but that's all i can say.

Some time ago when i was talking to God, the word Signs kept on hitting me. Is like wanting me to acknowledge it and follow it. Well, it's God and im purely human. Something got to strike within me for me to realise. =)

Apart from that, if it's some kind of test, im seriously not going to afford losing it. It'll be too much to lose. I suppose.

Listening - Trouble Is A Friend by Lenka

Week of joy.

2009-05-14T22:17:00.001+08:00

My week have been very tough due to trainings for evaluations and we had so much trainings that really strain people. Had a obstacle test but manage to skip it due to duty. Next was the night walk which i havent done it for months. It is so different to walk with heavy loads after so long. To me, it is just another long conversation i had to have with God. Talking to God need not walk so long but while walking, i felt extremely tired and totally no strength. At this time, the pictures of Jesus carrying the cross came to my mind showing me how tough, difficult to walk alone. I mean, is at night and we have to be tactical. Somehow the pictures of that pushes me thru the whole up-slope and i actually felt lighter on my load. Is like a hand helping you on your bag and pushing you up in the meantime. Cool right? When the walk actually finish, i wasnt tired, shag or drained. I was in fact able to joke and help around. =) During the walk, the sky kept taking pictures of the stars. We were so afraid that the sky will start crying out of the sudden but nope! Not during the walk but right after the walk. It was drizzling for awhile only. For that, I THANK YOU GOD for hearing the prayer. And also thank YOU very nice for praying for my walk. You know who you are and yup. =) THANKS!

listening - The Show by Lenka

It's always for the Good.

2009-05-10T18:03:00.002+08:00

What's a Gift from God to you is a Gift for a reason.

Sometimes for me, i dont appreciate or i dont really want this particular gifting of mine because i a lot of time i get hurt, feel emotionals easily. At times it helps me a lot too. To judge, to understand, to see, to know and to prepare about it.

How many times must God tell you that the things you are doing is repeating and is not very good. God even show you pratically and you just dont get it. Let's say you get it but why are you still going after it? Why are you not considerate at all and sensitive? Will people say things about you that is not nice when you know you did not do it for that reason. Everything happens for a reason. Can you handle it? What will it be like? Are you going to give this a miss again?

Listening - Viva La Vida by Coldplay

What could an extra second do?

2009-05-10T14:31:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, i saw this long friend of mine from church and he told me something that i didnt want to believe. He knew one of my closest friend in BMT(army) and he told me that my friend, McRon Low had went to be with the Lord quite sometime ago. I understand the first sentence my friend told me and i just didnt want believe and i kept acting blurr so that he can tell me more about it. Receiving the new brought me to an un-explained emotions and feelings. We knew each other during BMT time and we were really brother. Helping one another up, how he helped me during the times in BMT. There're just so much in that 9weeks of training together. If im not wrong, it all happen during the month of october'08 when im over at Australia. 7 months had passed and i believe that he must be somewhere above jumping around, looking down, thinking what he's thinking. If ever God allow that extra second to every seconds, McRon would be who i met yesterday, together with my friend.

Hey McRon, couldnt get the chance to hang out with you was the regretting part. Knowing you was the most happening thing during BMT because there are just so damn much of shit stuffs we did and talked about. You have and you are the well-deserve respect by all people. You will definitely be missed by all people!

Luke 15:24 "For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they begin to celebrate."

Romans 6:8 "Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him."

* Gone from our sight but never from our memories or our hearts. He shall be greatly missed. *

let it go will you?

2009-05-02T02:32:00.002+08:00

He doesn't seems to understand what you are bringing him.
It is a maze he sees.
He's going as far as he could to hide from it.
Avoiding the maze he always thought it was.
Finding the big tall wall,
hoping you would never find him.
Running away from you was the initial thought of his.
Not the maze at all.
He couldn't see,
he couldn't understand.
He could only hear his heart beating so fast
and only zephyr of the wind can he feel.
Wait till he understand why
and that's when he will find his way.

How many 1 second do you have?

2009-05-01T14:43:00.002+08:00

Some time ago, i had a test and I failed the obstacles course test by 97 Milliseconds!!! Not even 1 second. It could be the human reaction that press the stopwatch that cause me to fail or it could be me that my leg didnt open wider to run pass that 97 milliseconds. That 97 milliseconds will cost me a year of training and muscle straining. Since God doesnt owe me anything at all, i am glad that i can finally pass thru all the obstacles at once without fail.

Past weeks had been good for me putting aside the camp shit stuffs. Anyway, i caught Knowing the movie last week and X-Men Origins: Wolverine yesterday!!!! Both was good and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I realize that nowadays the movies are about the world getting burned up by nature sources etc... Is there some kind of message or some kind of coincidence? Knowing was not bad. Is about the sun burning down the earth (in short). So, if you people are going to watch X-Men Origins: Wolverine, DO NOT LEAVE THE CINEMA UNTIL THE CREDITS HAS FINISH!!!!!! I repeat! DO NOT LEAVE THE CINEMA until the CREDITS finish!!!!!!! GOT IT? X-Men Origins: Wolverine was damn DAMN good. The story and graphics were so good. I believe there is definitely a second story.

Listening - Castle On A Cloud by Les Miserables

start by a little.

2009-04-19T03:11:00.002+08:00

Finally had a chance to go back for awhile. Dinner with them and one guy told me something shocking. I am shocked at what he told me and at loss of words about it. For what i've known, i think someone should be over at another country studying and not here in town. It is something that i ought to know last time but not for now i think. Everything has to start by a little.

Next, some plans was cancelled so i had all the time to myself and i use it wisely; to find my cg people. Talked to my cg guy and he pop out this question that i have totally no intention of telling him but somehow, something was urging me to answer him and instead of saying no, i own it up and let the spirit lead me thru the whole conversation. I did not know why i do that for but i do know that it might be a hint for something. Everything has to start by a little. And that's what i did.

I also had that little dust of catching up with people. Hope it's good. =)

Let start by a little.

Listening - White Horse by Taylor Swift

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-18T01:43:00.004+08:00

This CONGRATS is for Dunman Secondary School's Choir people!

CONGRATULATIONS to you guys for 2009 S.Y.F in choir!!!!!

!!!! GOLD With HONOURS !!!!

17 April.

2009-04-17T23:15:00.002+08:00

Firstly, to bubu and her family. - My deepest condolences for your loss. Please take care.

So once again, i had a very late training till past midnight. Slept till morning which is 3-4hours later. Phone wasnt with me till afternoon and that was when i saw the message about bubu's grandma. Do take care and may God bless your family with strength and peace.

17 April. So many things i had in mind for this particular day. Starting of the year, i did some planning for this day but until today itself,i realise that it is far more difficult than i thought. It became a habit instead of a urge. Thou either way is not good for what i know, but i am a human that will get killed by curiousity. haha!! While im trying my best to follow the things i'd planned, God never fail to change the worst circumstances for me.

** Life isnt a bed of roses. And it doesnt mean there isnt one. Someone AbovE promised a Bed of Fresh Roses in every problems, troubles and circumstances. It just depends on how long you have to take to reach there. ** I'll still stick to this because i have encounter it before. =)

My body is aching like as if like i deserve it. I'm seeing more aching coming my way in the next few days and beyond. Anyway, i caught Firefly yesterday!!!! SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SIDE-Note: NigeL Is ReallY VerY HungrY And He SERIOUSLY Wants To Eat PrataSSS!!!

Count it down.

2009-04-13T02:19:00.002+08:00

How many times do i have to count it down and get it over with? Getting emo? Nah. This aint a emo post. haha. You got me spinning and suck back to this familiar place. Didnt tried hard enough to lock it. Is time to get out of it and be crazy!! =)

Apart from that, let my gift of discernment lead me and comfort me as i go.

listening - Like A Song by Lenka

Day of Easter.

2009-04-13T01:51:00.002+08:00

A long weekend had just ended. Is a privilege for me to sit here and update about the past few days. Chill out together with some board games at usual place. Went clubbing on saturday to celebrate one of the church brother's birthday. Didnt drink too much either. Somehow is cool at the dance floor. The next day which was just now had service. Wanted to go for the morning service but cant wake up so i went for the second service instead. Suntec was P.A.C.K.E.D with HOPE people. I bet some other church people are there as well. Is a sunday you see. The group went to swensen for dinner and i left the group to hong kong cafe at katong awhile later. Met sheila, winnie, daniel to celebrated gerald's birthday there as well after our dinner. Taboo-ed for awhile and headed back home. Had a REALLY CRAZILY CRAZY and FierCE 'road rage'. Inside of the car was A TOTAL MaDneSsSSs. haha!!!! Everybody is crazy and out of their mind. haha. So i ended my long weekend with a crazy road rage inside the car.

close acquaintance, best stranger.

2009-04-05T04:36:00.002+08:00

*Forfeit under consent of the king* to you people that 'delete file into the recycle bin and then restore it when you thought of using it.'

Is it very difficult to understand the above? haha. If you do, you do. If not, too bad, cant elaborate more. =p

Anyway, thanks to those who prayed for me. Needed it seriously. The train went out of track and i lost it again!!!! Geeeezzz... Well get back when i got it back.

For one (the world) to survive, one (who else?) must die.

listening - Sleeping To Dream by Jason Mraz

walking within the mist.

2009-04-01T13:28:00.003+08:00

For awhile, i'm finding my way out of the thick greyish mist in the morning.
In blink of eyes, i'm out and wishing that i could be there awhile longer.

Missed out quite a lot for these two weeks but i've learn to enjoy within the boundary. I'd learned stuffs that i longed learning and saw a lot of things that is weird, funny, scary, stupid and irritating. haha... April fool just passed. Have i been fooled by you? Anyone of you? Everyday seems like a April's fool day for me. This year has been a year where every little small things started to give way. Looking at the bigger picture, i realize i have to give up certain thoughts, things and anything that might be dear to me. It occured to me that what kind of 'bigger picture' required to give up so many things? I dont even understand and that why it's called as the bigger picture. Make any sense? Sometimes i felt like i am finding my way out in the mist and i kept losing things while walking.

Let me understand the bigger picture and let it be known to me. For i am not strong, therefore i need strength, encouragement and understanding.

what a night fall

2009-03-17T20:26:00.003+08:00

another night has fall,

the clock's still ticking

and the day goes on.

day by day

the sun will rise,

light of the night

will take over

when the time has come.

Another random post i had in mind. Have you ever felt so screwed by certain things that are happening around you? Because I am feeling this way now. Something are screwing my mind up. A little of confusion, a little of faith, a little of almost everything. That's screwed! I keep coming to a mind-blank when im either in front of this blog posting or when im out with people. That's not good.

another thing, i want to not just do my best in what im doing now but i want to do Your best in what You got me to do. May it be in camp or not. I know i need You as a whole of me.

For you that are reading this post, Please PRAY for me!!!!!!
1) Safety.
2) Strength of Spirituality.
3) Strength of Physical.
4) Patience of my impatience.
5) Courage of facing difficulties.
6) Wisdom of communications.
7) Screwdriver to UN-Screw my mind.
8) Faith of all unseen.

That's all i need of you for me. I'm serious!!!! PLEASE GO AND PRAY!!!!!

clock's still ticking...

2009-03-17T02:27:00.002+08:00

I have been watching movies lately. Which is good. It brings me back to the world somehow. haha. I like where i am now. Feels good. Have you ever heard someone saying that when friends leave or move on, they will one day come back and things might be the same again? Well, recently i started to have a few old friends coming back in contacts with me. Kind of what i prayed for some time ago. =) What i thought was that maybe at times when people move on, it is your call to do something different too. So anyway, that's what happen recently. Which i am thankful for.

I came across this sentence from a show and find it nailed into my mind till now. Quite meaning. It goes, 'you dont leave the people you love alone. Even if you are going to die, because you know that they are your motivation to live.' , ' there is a shadow of fear in every person. The only way to get rid of the shadow is to turn off the light. To stop running from the darkness and face what you fear.'

I have shadows. Lots of shadows. Sometimes i'll face it and sometimes i will run until a point where i meet the ends. When i see the ends, i will then face it or even better, the solutions will be there for me. I dont know, it depends.

Until then, i'll see ya again if i see you, close acquaintance.
taking care!!!

listening - Take A Bow by Madonna

what do you actually want?

2009-03-08T17:43:00.003+08:00

you cant have everything when you are doing everything.
you have to let pieces go. bit by bit.
pieces that are not yours.

Feelings will come back. How are you going to handle it? Avoid it for good? Face it and balance the feelings or go together with the feelings? Being alone can separate what you want and what your heart actually want.

and again,

Ever thought of a day when you want to be alone? Is never true. You just want to pick somebody to be alone with. Like a family. You choose who you want and once you have chosen those people or that one person, you tend to stay close no matter how much you hurt them(before). At the end of the day, those beside you are worth keeping. Sometimes that invasion of space can be exactly what you need.

So what exactly do you want? Feelings are floating back and the state of being confuse about it is getting heavier everyday.

listening - Fearless by Taylor Swift

let it continue to slip.

2009-03-03T02:35:00.003+08:00

Urge of telling,
urge of showing.
Change of mindset,
change of feelings.
Feelings of confusing,
feelings of fear.
Fear of keeping,
fear of confessing.

Memories of old,

memories of the deja vu.

Whatever it is, let it continue to slip thru the brick walls of memories. Stop coming back and start slipping of.

Which one are you under?

2009-03-02T04:08:00.002+08:00

Everyday there are decisions to make, choices to choose, questions to answer and so on and so forth... But have you ever realize that when you do things before you pray, the result will be better than not praying. Wonder why? Because God says that when we go by the Spirit, we will not be under law but we will be under Grace. Galatians 5:16-18.

moving on or changing?

2009-03-02T03:12:00.002+08:00

In my life, people are like guests in my house. They come in for awhile and leave for sometime and after awhile, months, years, they will come back and visit me again. Not long later, they will bid farewell and move on with their life.

Recently, I met up with a friend that i last saw her two years ago. We know each another friends and we hang out together with the rest at that time and yeah, it was more than fun. haha. She's one of the guest in my 'house'. Actually i didnt expect her to 'visit' again because of last time and yet she did. A little surprise. Thank God for that!!!

Another thing was about this ridiculous dream that i had on tuesday. I dreamt of my one person for the third time and this time was with some other mix group. We were like, studying, taking exams, sharing answers*basically, Cheating*. haha!!! Out of a sudden, i did some stunts like air-walking, stepping on people's shoulders. Funny and weird!! Anyway, my point was about that particular person that i dreamt of. The first person i will always see in my dream no matter if the dream include others. For me, it is abit uneasy because i didnt know why or how that person end up in my dream. haha. Weird but apart of my likes it. haha.

listening - Change by Taylor Swift

my future decided.

2009-03-02T00:04:00.002+08:00

What's a life that is satisfying to you? In reality.
Doing what you like and earning money in the meantime?

I have friends that talk about life*life that you will encounter in the real world*, works, money and i seriously Thank God for them in my life. Firstly is because they make me realize how real and competitive the world is and the way they see it without the lens of God. I wont say they are old or what but i can say that they have years of experiences that i would never have or encounter. Secondly, everything that they share about were really sensible and useful in every aspects of life. Money is the biggest concern in everyone's mind because if you were to talk about feelings, things, fame, emotions, etc, you are already putting money into the topic. Saying about feelings, emotions, these two things doesnt build up with the help of money but it will definitely get affected by money. Money is the only shiniest thing that every single one can see. Even for the blind.

And so my friends were sharing about jobs and i suddenly sense that i am in a different land from them. I personally dont know why but that makes me see Jeremiah 29:11 clearly. How different i am compared to them is that verse. Thou i am in a world that i, me, myself and everybody elses love money, i still have that believe that whatever i do will prosper.

For the fact that i am in this world, i am really scared about my future in this world. I want to explore a lot of things but there are damn lots of obstacles like money issue, time issue*for now*, discipline as well and the list goes on. Being around with them at times make me feel a little out but never did i feel that they share things illogically. They might be straight but they are really good friends to hang out with. =) Seriously! I have to seriously start planning my directions and path clearer so i wont be left hanging. Booooo...

Afterall, i know My Future Decided!

Which step are you taking?

2009-03-01T01:49:00.002+08:00

A step forward gives you a chance to be a better human.

Take a step back and you'll see that you're actually just fine.

continued.

2009-03-01T00:52:00.002+08:00

As i had mentioned earlier on, worship God whenever we feel Lacks. May it be lack of security, may it be when we are lonely or whatsoever. As long as we feel that we are lacking of something, we need to worship God in the spirit. If you are lack of nothing *which is impossible*, praise Him and let His glory be shown to others that do not know Him. This year is the year Where Free Favours profusely abound. So no matter what it is, Salvation, faith, anything that you may ask, will be given. Only thru the spirit and onto God will your blessings be heard. God know your desire but He wants you to hand it *admit that He is Jehovah Jireh* over to Him so that you may be humble and your desire of accepting His blessing is greatly increase. So overall, worship, pray, praise and make His name high and known to everybody.

when's the day of break?

2009-02-22T14:53:00.004+08:00

Today is sunday. I'm at home. Haven't been home for two weeks plus due to some camp issues. If any of you understand what i mean. (a lot of things cannot say here, is not legal.) So the valentine's week i had to be in camp rotting. Not that bad la. We were given a lot of previlleges to do things. Didnt have much training. =) Two years back, on the valentine's day i remember i was at tampines mall eating fried sliced fish soup rice. haha.. Anyway, camp was stress and busy plus tiring but God never fails to be the coffee and extra time for me. Thank GOD!!

Yesterday i went to suntec for services. Think they want to try out new system and location. Something spoke to me yesterday. Worship God when you are feeling lonely.

John 4:16-20 The woman in the book commits adultery. Why? Because she is lack of love, lack of companies, lack of security and in short, she is lonely. She focus in that so to find those lacks. When she came to Jesus as the seventh man, she saw something. In John 4:19-20 it says "Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem." What does it mean? Why is she speaking words she doesnt know? Why is she worshipping God out of a sudden? Because of Jesus. Overall, whatever lacks we are facing, worship God for we know He is our everything without lacks.

time is running out!!!!!!!!!!!! to be continue...

A Week Called Hectic!

2009-02-07T01:52:00.002+08:00

I went back to camp some days ago which i cant remember when now and from then i've been working on certain STUFF with the computer that has no internet. Handling the computer is kind of my thing so i'm glad that i am able to work with it for the past weeks. =) Working on the stuffs that i was told to do wasnt really easy because the computer keeps on HANGING!!! The stuffs were needed for an event just now and i THANK GOD that He saved me just now. The event starts at 1830 and my stuffs were needed at the lastest timing, 1930. When i did the first time, it got HANG!!!! Time check for then was 1820. It takes up to 1 hour to finish up the thing and i have no choice but to do it again. Thou it was just a few clicks, it is still going to take at least 1 hour. While waiting for the computer to do its part, i pray in the spirit and i told God that i want it to be done by 1920 if not, let some things drag the event time. Guess what? It wasnt done yet! I just said it takes 1 hour right?! haha. God shorten the timing that i've to wait and get it done. So when everything has been done, i tried to open it with a program and the file got problem. I remembered that i did everything correctly and when i looked at the time, it was already 1938!!! Somehow i still THANK GOD because He managed to help me finish up as soon as posible and the people attending the event itself likes to drag time so that even helped me more! haha. When i reach and hand over the stuffs, i pray that the file will WORK on other laptop. At first it cant even be open but by my faith, and some effort, i managed to open it and TA-DAaaaaaa. All done with the help from God. How can i not thank Him when the things that i've been working on for almost 2weeks almost went into the drain? Without His calm and peace, i would have already left that one thing go into the drain.

listening - If Everyone Cared by Nickelback

O.I.L

2009-02-02T00:56:00.004+08:00

It should be a long weekend for me. Aint feeling it. I'm really bless by God in camp even thou i sin every minute. It'll be really long winded if i were to blog it down here. So, I just THANK GOD for blessing me and showing me grace at all times. =)

Church-ed on saturday and it was different. Thou the P&W wasnt so great, I'm glad that the spirit of God brought life in the songs i sang. How special? haha. Changes in nexus!! hahaha.. I'm not new there but i just felt some differences. =) Ok la. It was good overall.

Headed to alps for drinks after dinner at ps. I'd been wanting to drink ever since one or two months ago. Kind of out of the sudden. Am i depressed or what? =x I just want to drink freely with people. For this period i think. haha.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How close were you to a friend when it all becomes less than a aquaintance?

Which mach are you at?

2009-01-29T12:36:00.000+08:00

When an fighting plane is breaking the sound barrier, there will be some kind of shield or vapour that is form around the plane. When the meter is going from 0.5 to 0.6 to 0.7 to 0.8 to 0.9 and when the needle is moving to the mach 1, the whole plane will shake, tremble, vibrate and it is very unstable. And when it reach the mach 1, the whole plane will be in peace, without vibrations and stability will be recovered. But going to mach 1 is not easy. Before the needle reaches the 1, there are so much things that will happen. The controller "steering wheel" will be fighting for it's own control and you must have the courage and faith in taking the control no matter how bad it is doing. Gaining control and pushing the limit to another level is the aim for the fly. Upon hitting the mach 1, there will be a loud boom and the vapour will be like a shield so visible and peace continue. The same thing will happen for the process of hitting mach 2 or 3.

Faith, life, is like this. when your faith are going into another level, you will encounter limitless of trouble, your surrounding will shake and when you reach the "mach 1" level with a BANG, you will realise that things is different and peace is around you. You are fighting for the growth in faith and you pray that God will bless you wisdom. But is wrong. You dont pray for things that you have doubt on. You pray for things that you know it is going to happen and you want it to be better.

Let my faith speaks,

2009-01-27T15:25:00.002+08:00

What's Faith?
Faith is believing what you cant see.
Faith is trusting the future of what you do not know.
Faith is giving thanks to The One for tomorrow.

And where does Faith come from?
Faith come from the Word and The Word come from God.
The Word was God.
Faith also comes from hearing. Hearing of the Word.
Hearing the Word means listening to God. He says in John 1: 1- 2.
...The Word was with God and the Word was God....

Next, let this year began with God's Salvation and Free Favours.
Luke 4 : 19
Isaiah 61 : 1, 2

What Year Is This?

2009-01-26T12:56:00.002+08:00

This year will be The Acceptable Year Of The LORD! Amen!

Year of RADZON - Delight, Favour, Acceptance!

Year of DEKTOS - The Most Blessed Time Where Salvation And The Free Favours Of God Profusely Abound!!!!!!! AMEN!!!!

Since it is the year of Dektos, what salvation do you desire? What desire do you have to ask from God?

About my week. Part Two.

2009-01-25T02:23:00.002+08:00

So where did i stop? haha.. Saturday i went to town just to deliver the Chinese new year goods. How kind. Especially in the morning going noon. Evening came and yusoff fetch me from my house here and then we went to fetch neal, bubu and victor. We all are heading to kak Nor's Costume Birthday Party!!! Sounds Fun?? DEFINITELY!!!!! You'll gonna understand when the pictures are up. haha!! Anyway, the party was really fun. Firstly i like the place where the party is held. Secondly, the party is full of jokes and laughters. We get to know kak Nor's friends and DANG-- more jokes rises. hahaha!!!!!!!!! Pictures' with bubu. Got to get from her. One more thing. How BLISSED is it when a lady like Kak Nor celebrate her Birthday with CHANEL HANDBAG birthday Cake. SUGAR-RUSH people!!!!! haha... I post the photos up once i got it. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU Kak NOR!!! =DDD

Ever since the camp out in the jungle, i havent been sleeping well. Got no idea why but one thing i do know is that i cant find time to sleep in camp even after the days in jungle. God Bless my SOUL. I seek You for my strength and wisdom.

listening - I'm For You by TobyMac

About my week. Part One.

2009-01-25T01:59:00.002+08:00

Let's start from camp. (Sensitive issues, so try to understand.)

I was out in the jungle with a big group of new friends i made. Though im not doing as much things as they are but i am as tired as them. Why? Here's why, i didnt get enough sleep because i had to follow certain people where ever they go. I actually enjoy the times with them because they are not just friendly but they are really kind and humble too. =) Glad to train with people like them. The jungle trip took three days away already. Thursday came back and continue to do certain things for my commander. At night had a great "farewell party" for the big group of people that came. Special performances were for them mostly and i do hope they enjoy themselves as well. =) Time really FLIES especially when you are doing things that makes you so busy and focus for a long time. What i mean time flies doesnt mean the clock on the wall ticking but the things i had done and shared with them. Is the reality that turns into a memorable history for me.

Friday came out in the day, thought i would have more than enough time to get myself ready for the night programme but in the end i end up rushing and THANK GOD that i managed to get to indoor stadium before the whole actual progamme started. =) The event that i went was AMAZING and i really liek it a lot!!!! =DDD Me and some friends managed to take the last train back to tampines.

listening - Trust In You by Jeremy Camp.

What do you think?

2009-01-11T00:58:00.002+08:00

Firstly, i'd seen the schedule for this month and next month. What i can say is Disappointing. Only by seeing it and is already so bad, what about being in those days doing stuffs that make your day worst?

Next, what are the new year's resolutions? It's been so long ever since stepping into 2009 and i still dont have the full resolutions that i want. Is about time to do it.

Have you ever thought of using any of your own abilities to do something? In the end things doesnt end up as fulfilling and fruitful as you thought it would be. Why? Here's why. For example; having the urge/desire to do something for good cause but in the end things turns out not as good as you expected even when you gave your best, used your best ability and used whatever is best from you. Things just ends it with good or average only. Why? To be simple, why depend your own abilities when you have the Giver's Abilities to do something greater and better? Why not say that you want to use His abilites as your abilities to do things and impress others because you know the Giver of those abilites has bigger impact on others. Is like, Hey! GOD, let not MY ability serve you but Your ability thru me impressing the world and bring glory for you. Great Leaders are not serving any much more than what you are serving. They are just there to serve God by serving us(His people). By discipling us, helping us and etc... therefore we are serving equally. We serve God by serving His people. Is always back to the basic when you reach a point in your growth.

Should a new enviroment be a better place for you? Is your spiritual safe box locked? What are your status now? Man with soul without spirit or man with soul with spirit?

A Change or Moving on?

2009-01-04T02:11:00.002+08:00

Nothing's going to change so I'm taking that as moving on. Hey! Is a new year with greater expectations! New enviroment? New hairstyle? What else can i think of? Anyway, met up my friend in the afternoon. It was like a totally new chapter to me. Which i think it is good. =) After meeting, i join bubu, neal and victor at JJ-Starbucks. What we did? SCRABBLE and SCRABBLE. It was so fun. Haven't been seeing victor quite damn long. After scrabbling, we took cab back together. I'm having a headache out of a sudden. Board games is coming back!!!

Scrabble Through 2008 into 2009.

2009-01-03T01:57:00.003+08:00

What should be in the post? Had my New year countdown at One Fullerton Starbucks. The view there was great! Bubu and i met up first before going there to meet the rest. Counting down with them were so much more happening than others at any festival with fireworks. haha!!! I still remember counting down with bubu last year and then celebrate at Starbucks Tampines! Monopoly was part of us as well. This year, we scrabble into 2009 with new words. It was really fun and laughter at all times.

As eyes focusing at the dark night sky,

anticipation and excitments filled the atmosphere.

BOOM,

tensions rises and silence was broken.

the sound of the lights brought everyone into new hopes and dreams.

quiet night sky was interrupted,

the shapes and colours from the light

became more and more dynamic.

when the last light rain down from the sky,

it was rush hour time again.

back to normal,

life goes on with every kind of push nobody likes.

the only good.

2008-12-26T02:39:00.003+08:00

Hey, i received the best christmas present this year!! Trust me, it is the best present. This year, people give presents like they are ought to do so. Not because they want to. They just get everybody the same thing because is easier for them. No need think. haha. *putting money aside ya* I may be wrong but it all seems like that to me. I went down to starbucks today and people there got me a present. How sweet? And why is it the best? Because it is so damn cool and that's what i wanted too! haha!!!!!! Is kind of for small kids but when it is one of your interest, you dont care about the age already! haha!!! Speaking the truth, i find it more fun and enjoyable to celebrate occasions with people like them! TRUST ME!!! =D

it is a detective thingy!!

THANKS to ts peeps; Mohsin, Fad, Alia, BuBu, Rineal, Victor, Azhar.

Angels Or Devils

2008-12-25T18:29:00.002+08:00

Angels Or Devils

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see
still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

!!!!~HohOHohO~!!!!

2008-12-25T17:02:00.002+08:00

Merrier Merrier Merry Christmas peeps. Tell you what! This year is the MOST MOST FUN christmas ever!!!! So Fun that i do not want it ever again. Never Never!! I tell you what is common, what is the same. I am. We've got an issue arent we? What's that? Me? You? Us? Gee, what is wrong with it? Can anything better happen? God just throw to me what you think alright?

I went out of my house in the morning to meet a friend to go together for camp cohesion at lucky plaza. I think is my first time to lucky plaza. haha!!! We had our lunch at this indonesia resturant. The food was good. The drink that i ordered was REALLY REALLY sweet!! Is something like chendol drink. So sweet that i cant continue drinking. After filling up our stomach, we headed to ps to catch movie. Yes Man. The whole centre row was all occupied by our people. haha. Cool yea? After movie we walk around, talk and i left for service at the evening. I gave because you meant something but you never ever received it. Right? Headed to service, service ended. Went to pepper lunch with the people, gift exchange after that. Oh, by the way right, there are three contacts with us too. There is this one contact that can speak FEW Dialects, English, Chinese, Malay, whatelse? AND she is INDONESIAN. Dude! I cant even speak dialectSS man. haha. *random start* People that speaks cantonese mixed with english is really cool. *random ends* She's only here for 2months? God bless this type of people. haha. After the dinner, i went to gig/bar to meet my friends, had drinks then countdown. Headed over to DI bbq at east coast park after countdown. It was great talking to that few people. Blog about it some other time. Dawns breaking, not as usual, i went back, walk to the bus stop that terminates at tampines. Reached home just now at 7plus. Going back in today i think. Hope to extend till tomorrow afternoon. Guess what, i just called my commander and i was given the green light!!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee~ God is either Great or MARVERLOUS!

listening - Torn by Natalie Imbruglia

1) New timing. 2) Old faces, wrong perception then.

2008-12-21T00:49:00.006+08:00

Service timing was change because of some split. It was normal except that this time, the burden for praying and seeking Him for blessing upon someone was heavier. Oh well, i hope blessings falls every now and then. Not rough patches.

After service or during alter call, i left to attend my secondary school choir concert at YMS. MEt bubu for dinner before heading to the concert. Saw a lot of old faces, people that i used to thought they didnt like my attitude but it seems like i had the wrong perception about it and them as well. I saw this senior when i was collecting my tickets there and she didnt recognize me but when i asked her questions about the performers, she realize im her junior back then. She told me the impression she had of me that time and it was kind of a shock because i didnt know that im like that to her. Is a good impression of course. For me, i didnt thought i would be like that to her. haha.... If i wasnt wrong, i still remember i didnt really like her although we didnt talk much that time. haha!!! Well, is a relieve somehow. =D Anyway, the performance was great. It was performed by Dunman Choir Alumnis. If the piano can move a bit more further, it'll be even more better. The place was kinda small but it's still alright as it's not for the whole choir members to perform. It was still great afterall!!! Well done people!!!

listening - Dancing Queen by ABBA

Not just coincidence.

2008-12-20T02:36:00.003+08:00

Last week alter call in service stuck me deeply for someone that plays an important role in my life. The urge to pray for that special friend of mine was totally different. Hence, I prayed and pray almost everyday asking God, demanding Him with respect to pour down blessing for this friend and the family. I also pray that we will bump into each other soon. Knowing that this prayer is a faith that i am willing to wait and sacrifice, i continue praying. And did i mention before that God is more than Great? Well, let me say it again! GOD is more than GREAT!!! Even thou God knows that i pray with a very very small faith, a faith smaller than a mustard seed, He is graceful enough to let me bump into that friend just now. Thou it came with a small bad news and seeing that friend of mine in a difficult situation, i sincerely want to thank God for letting us bump into each other. It was a privilege for me. For me to know what's going on and how is my friend coping with life. We didnt chat for long, perhaps just a few minutes but it was a total answered prayer for me. I still continue to pray that the situation will change and things would get better. I demand it to get better because i know im praying to a God that is my Jehovah Jaira, my Jehovah Rapha, in fact for everybody out there. He will heal. Definitely.

Next, while heading back home, i saw another friend that used to be in youth. He told me that someone is back from overseas and i couldnt react at that point of time because im still kind of angry about it. Is ridiculous for that someone to be in that state last time but no matter what happen, God is still our Jehovah Shalom, the peace that keep us going with grace and great patience. Therefore, i know that friend had somehow overcome the bad situation and willing to be more positive afterall. I just pray that that friend will not be tempted into that situation ever again. Seriously, it sucks to be in that state, i know.

So how much do you need to ask from Him? For me, i got too much to ask, to demand, to request but i know that as long as the world is turning, His is in control. Not even one second He will rest. Just because we are His children, doesn't mean it is His duty to do all these for us. Think again, it is His love for us that keeps Him pouring down blessings after blessings. So i really ThanK Him for every situation im in now.

listening - Angels And Devils by Dishwalla

It's tuesday!!

2008-12-16T18:13:00.004+08:00

I'm out due to some reason. My mind was in a state of mess and decisions making. Nevertheless, God is always there to lift me up. I can be lying on my bed thinking and sorting out but i cant make up my mind for that one decision. This is not my lowest point of my life. Definitely not. I'm giving away too much. Apologise about it. How many emotional states do i have to show? How many irritating side do i have to counter? It depends on God mostly, in fact, all of the time. He said in,
- Psalms 103:12, "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."

- 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

That's what i have in mind now. I know God doesnt promise life with bed of roses, But He promise in every problem, trouble or emotionals there will always be a bed of roses waiting there. It just depends on how long you have to take to finally reach there and lie on it.

What do you think about this picture?

in case you misunderstand, it is when you are at the lowest point of your life or situation, you look to God. Which also means you need God at that point of time. Many can explain this i guess but is you, the one who know best. Not everybody thought of God when at the highest point because it is a peak where you see almost everything. But not everything you see is as clear as it seems to be.

listening - 1973 by James blunt

Rating To Be Advised. (Too Harsh)

2008-12-14T04:22:00.003+08:00

O.K.-B.Y.E!!!!!!!!

Stop judging people by it's cover!
- Assuming that you look pissed DOESN'T mean you are really pissed.
- Assuming that you look sad DOESN'T mean you are really sad.
- Assuming that you look emo DOESN'T mean you are really emo.
- Assuming that you look boring DOESN'T mean you are boring.

So SCREW all the people that ASS-U-ME. Judging is part of life in human nature but with God, we try all we can not to but at times, we do it because it's like a habit to do it. If you hate, it is when you start to love. You hate being assumed and you love to assume. Same logic to everything. The last few words you said were what i hate. Trust me, i really hate it. I do assume at times but at least i make a effort to CLARIFY. Right now, everything seems so Otherwise. So late minute, so irritated............

Chinese saying ~> "First Bitter, Sweet Later"

2008-12-13T03:00:00.003+08:00

Had a short 5km run in the morning although my leg still hurts. I thought running was somehow for me during this period and since this commander has been encouraging me to run. So here i am, having my leg taking all the pains and dragging the recovery time. Few of us actuallyy ran more than 5km because of the bad guiding and short of marshallers. Came out during the evening time as usual.

Caught the movie, Twilight, just now at tampines. Finally had someone sitting beside me in the theatre since some time ago. Wanted to get the show early with Xandra but she had to do some stuffs so met her, Nigel and his family to catch the midnight show instead. The movie was A LITTLE BIT draggy at the start but when 'the show' really starts, the expectation and anticipation for every next scene is just there in you. The relieve characters are really good, quite a few of comedies and of course full of excitments. I'm going to anticipate for the second story.

waha-he-ha-he....

2008-12-11T20:27:00.003+08:00

Emo was a distraction. Life that should be filled with more ups than downs right? haha... Sometimes things seems to be fading or going, going, gone! But at least you had enjoyed about it before. So, it is a Good thing!! =D

im bored so i wrote this!

fyi, i edited one of the post below, if you read, read again.If you dont, then you dont. HAhaha!!

fag the emo-ness.

2008-12-08T16:38:00.002+08:00

EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo EMO emo............ Emo Next time ok? Definitely. wahAHAHAhahaHAha!!! FAG!

The Thing About Running.

2008-12-08T02:36:00.004+08:00

Standard Chartered Marathon Run!!! Slept for 3-4hours before heading down to the form up point. Wasnt late! Thought i would be late as usual but Thanking God, i wasnt!!! For this run, i did not train for weeks but gladly by the grace from God, i managed to complete it with the timing that i had before. It was a really good run for me. =D After running, few of us went to subway to eat. Haven't been eating subway for months and it was nice. Head back home to rest but caught up with some stuffs instead so didnt manage to sleep. Evening got some gathering dinner. Met up with people at tampines then took bus to chomp chomp. Ate there for hours eating and talking. Finally ate COCKLES!!!!!! Blood Cockles!!!! Addictive and Excellent! Wahahaha!!!!!!! We head over to some drinking place to chill for awhile and then one ice cream place to continue eating and joke around. Chilling with them is really fun. It had been a long time. And awhile later, Time for home sweet home.. Poof, i'm home.

Come to think about certain things, some times i dont know what people are irritated about or what's bothering them. May it be nothing at all but dude, they don't realize that their face shows something? I'm really confused, i got mislead by their expression sometimes. Perhaps im scared or not but i had this fear within me. What is the thing that keeps bothering me? I think is the enjoyment expectation that i had. Oh well............

People are showing all their expressions on their face, that's why. wahahahaahaaa............

wHeeeeeeeeEe~~

2008-11-30T15:42:00.004+08:00

Thou having a hectic week last week and few days ago, im still quite fine and happy. I'm happy because i did better for things i prayed for. You may not understand, but you cant deny that you don't have any secrets to youself so dont judge me by saying i keep things to myself. =) haha!!

Camp is the place i stay almost 95% of a week. Consider as my second home. There're reasons why i join this april and not trying everyhing in order to get myself to a school. Okay, i'll be abit more open and truthful here alright? Firstly, I got rejected by one polytechnic and i only applied for that school. I did not even applied for ITE. And so, i got no school to go. Secondly, I think going in at that point will be a very good runaway route for me to re-consider everything in life and about life. Camp is busy, it is what people hate because it makes people lose contact from the world. As for me, i thought that was what i needed. Therefore, here i am, losing my precious hairs. haha!!!! Thirdly, is for me to know and some of you knew already. haha...

Ever since camp life, i really started losing things. Not because of what but because everything needs to change and people, needless to say, need to move on. I did not just lose things but i also see things clearly, understand things better, gaining new things in life. I, of course did have good times in camp too. Depending on God happen almost everytime for me in camp. All sorts of feelings, emotions definitely fills me up as well. Complaining to God, angry at God, not feeling fairly treated by God, reasoning out with God, insisting on answers specifically that i want to know, and a lot of types of things... God still affirms me afterall. May it be thru visual, objects, verbal or actions, God still do it with grace. Being patience with me as well, knowing that i dont deserve it. There's this one thing in me that i want to briefly say it here. Thou my actions seems otherwise or my words means other things; may be negative or bad suggestions or sucky stuffs, i may not even know what my words means. So if you encounter any of these above mentions, no hard-feelings ok. Maybe im just being myself and you suay suay kena the bad side of me. WHAHAHA!!!!!!!! =x There might be things you are curious, but also things that i do not share with you or any other people and that makes me human. Unless you tell me you dont keep secrets. =)

There's this person that says, "When you run, it HAUNTS you when you turn back." - Nigel Seah. hahahahahaa!!

..... Emanuel, Jesus Christ. You never let me go. My shepherd king, You watching over me. emanuel, emanuel, emanuel..............

Trouble is a Friend.

2008-11-23T15:16:00.006+08:00

Turn up your volume. There's no video to it. For better music quality, Click There => Trouble Is A Friend by Lenka

CURSE YOU AND I STILL CURSE YOU DEEPLY !!!!!!!

2008-11-16T16:49:00.004+08:00

Met my friend after service to eat and chill out at Bali House. Took cab home because there's no more night-rider home. I took TransCab *Red colour cab* from Doby Ghout mrt to tampines and when i alighted, i STILL CHECKED the sit but i dont see anything there. After alight, i realize my phone wasnt with me so i chased the cab IMMEDIATELY but lost sight at east view secondary school there. DAMN IT!!!! Rush back home to call my phone but no one pick up. I called a lot of times and i called transcab as well to help me broadcast to all the taxis. After that, i called back my phone and it was OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DARN DAMN DARN !!!!!!!!!!! The uncle took the phone and off it!! I'm really pissed and im seriously pissed because there's a lot of things in my phone that i cant lose it. =( I'm feeling very stress now. I just had that phone in feb. Photos, contacts, memory card, messages and the chipped part of my phone are important to me!!!! AHHHHhhhHHhhhhhhH, GOD HELP. THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS, IM TELLING YOU, GOD! Do something better please!! This is the first time i lost a phone in my life! jiu ming ah!!!!!

**In Jesus name i pray that the uncle that took my phone will not have good sleep everynight, he will encounter the same or even worst situation than me. Either an accident or something better to let him reflect about this!! Therefore, he will return the phone to me! Cursed to be upon this TAXI UNCLE that took my phone until i got my phone back. By FAITH SINCERELY i pray! AmeN!

A-Strruuuggggggleeeeee-with-insane-Reluctant.

2008-11-09T02:13:00.003+08:00

There's this little boy that has been playing around the playground for a very long time and when it is time to go home, he doesnt feel right because everything about him still wandering at that playground. Home is a must to go and that little boy has no choice but to go.

Is too good to be outside. I have never felt so far from camp before, which is neither good nor bad. Thinking back at camp, it gives me the feelings of dejection. The sense of being apart. Im lost in both. I hate going back camp because it has the fatigued atmosphere, enviroment or even isolating. Being reluctant doesnt help me to avoid going back there but it does bring me to a state of gratitude because knowing that im not going back alone, will be the best of all the worst thing there. You will go back together with me and You will be my refuge from circumstances.

Psalm 5:11 "But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you."

2 Samuel 22:31 "As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.

HAPPY BirthdaY !!!!!!

2008-11-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

HAPPY Birthday To You,

HAPPY Birthday To BUBU,

HAPPY Birthday To You!!!!!!!!!

Happy 21st BirthDAY!!!!!

Just like that.

2008-11-08T04:06:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wonder if i still know you. There's a part of you which make me feels like a stranger to you. I want to tell you things straight but im jammed with it. God knows why. Just pondering around the fact of lies.

listening - Try Again by Keane

Time is running out!!

2008-11-08T03:28:00.002+08:00

Today was quite a rush. Went out of the house at evening time to get something for home use at sim lim. Had my dinner there too. Miss the place somehow. Used to work there and the foods there are still acceptable. After buying what i'm looking for, i went to take train to city hall and bus-ed to Great World City to catch Night In Rodanthe at 2140. Thought i had enough time but when i look at my watch, it says 2134. That was when i board the bus to GWC. Thankfully, it's just few stops and i reach at 2143. Rush up to get ticket and drink. The movie JUST started when i went in and GV is good for people like me because the movie will start 15minutes later due to advertisments videos. HAHHAHAA!!! Night In Rodanthe was Good. I like it. Is more to facing the reality. I especially liked the part when they quarrel after a man looked for him. What they say were very true. I'll give it 8/10. Thought it could have more.

Just to say, while on the bus to sim lim, this GUY/MAN sat beside me and his left HAND's NAILS/ 5 Finger Nails were all painted with HOT PINK. I repeat, Only left hand. That's ok. What's not ok was, during the journey he kept looking at me like he's trying to hit on me! Jesus! *i didnt look back at all because it'll be so TIME wasting for me*

listening - Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

found.

2008-11-05T04:10:00.001+08:00

I think i've finally found what i think i want. You all will know when it happens to me. Im waiting!!! And i think im going to be happy about it. =)

Shall we?

2008-11-05T00:37:00.003+08:00

This title came to me awhile ago, i thought i had something to blog about. But all of a sudden, i lost it. It's a blank! Again.

Pieces of shattered puzzle
falls in front of you.
Hear the rain drops falling from above,
let the sunshine bring smile to your face.
When your thoughts are getting deeper,
the coffee gets colder.
Screeching sound of the chair being push back
brought me back to reality.
I did the same
and I'm off somewhere else.

Cas Haley.

2008-11-04T17:39:00.006+08:00

*press Esc key to stop iwebmusic*

Tell me about this. He's really good!

what about this?

Glitters on the sky!

2008-11-03T12:54:00.009+08:00

Let me try to elaborate what i did over at Australia.

Basically is rest time at different places. Not bathing for up to 9days. Count Shooting Stars!! =) I got a total of 17 wishes to make but i made only one. For the fun of it. Did i mention that every night have Shooting Stars?? haha. I also saw Orion's Belt and Scorpius. Almost every night, in fact, is every night! haha!! I've been wanting a Telescope since young but is very expensive. Plus, i cant see much here. One day i will get one! ONE DAY!!! =) During the last night, me and some friends slept at the nice, UP-Class resort called the Capricorn Resort. We were firstly told that we may be sleeping in motel but God is GOOD! Some were located at motels, Chalet-look-alike rooms and some were located at Resort. The resort is so well decorated and the services wasnt bad as well. Best thing, the balcony that my room has, faces the Orion's belt direction! hahaha!!! Jealous? =x

This is Orion's Belt. Alnitak, Alnilam, Mintaka IS the belt.

This is Scorpius. On the right is the pincer and Libra Constellation.

Oh by the way, i did my Love language test just now. Just had that urge to do it.

Score Love Language

8 Words of Affirmation
6 Quality Time
5 Receiving of Gifts
2 Acts of Service
9 Physical Touch

NOT EMO~!!!!!!!

2008-11-02T16:21:00.004+08:00

I read thru the archive of this particular person's blog and i kinda felt sorry. Really sorry. Havent been knowing what's going on in your life at that moment. So stupid of me, i can see from your blog. Did a lot of wrong moves, desicions last time. =x i remember a couple of years back, you wrote almost everything down about how you felt and i think i wasnt around at that point but you never give up. Kept holding on till some time ago. Anyway, i still remember the post you wrote on 23 aug and some other dates which you get so troubled and it seems like everything just happen and is out of control. I do wish for the same thing as you did too, but i think courage pull me back from then on. And lastly, I'm seriously Sorry about it. There's this guilty feeling hanging over me ever since then.
When one wants to turn back, should he look back for consequences or should he just brake and cut in?

Pictures.

2008-11-01T16:39:00.003+08:00

Few more for you guys.

there's some private photos which cant be shared here. Do ask if you want. =D

A 23days RunAway Trip.

2008-10-31T23:16:00.014+08:00

Came back from my trip on thursday dawn. Had a great think thru over the weeks when i'm free. Is somewhat like isolating myself because i wasnt able to contact anyone back here. Partly i'm there for training and more training. More over, i'm nowhere near town so there's no point getting any international card. During the trip, i Seriously faced Death Twice!! Yes, TwicE!! Cant blog it here but will share if you ask. The weather is really really cold at night. It can even drop to as low as 10 degree. There's a lot of interesting stuffs that i'll never expect in a place like there. Trainings wasnt very tough just that it was very rush most of the time because of safety issues. A lot of time to rest plus the weather in the day is really cooling when i'm under the shade. Out in the field for 21days was a very huge eye opening for me. Problems, challenges and communicates are the real stuff i'm facing everyday there but God spoke to me thru people and of course, His words: Romans 13:5-14. Especially versus 9 and 10. Love your neighbor. Well, is hard but i did. Submit to authority, i did too. I saw very clearly about this saying: "You are the most Strong and Outstanding when you are the most weak with Strong faith. When I'm at the lowest point, it'll be the point where i meet God clearly. Because no one else would want to be at the lowest point but the humble. And yup, Humble and Faith is the key.

I took some photos to share. Here it is:

The sign board tells you where im heading.

This is where we aim and relieve ourselves. =X

The place where we shower. Water must be

filled into the water bag in order to bath.

Don't know why is there this thing in the toilet.

After jungle food, this is the entrance to the college

where we had our NORMAL lunch 'buffet'.

Looks like some 'Fisherman Villiage' haha!!

Place where we take our own food. Look at the people behind.

They are posing to the cam. =D

Bridge out of nowhere. HAHAHA!!!! =X

Look carefully, it says CAFFEINE FREE.

Have some BILLABONG?

At the RESORT. Queen size bed that I slept.

Mini Kitchen in the room.

Two more bed in a room.

Bath Tub!

Beach-like pool. CREATIVE!!

Waterfall + Slide pool.

Cigarettes Vending Machine.

Parrot. Nationality: Aussie.

Hen?

Kuala. LOOK carefully betweens her leg.

Forgot the name.

Peacock.

Will update more pictures soon.

here i am, there i go.

2008-10-07T02:55:00.002+08:00

Packed my stuffs already. Kind of think that there are things that i will miss out.
Oh well, I hope i dont. haha! Was a bit rush in the afternoon for dont know what reason. Headed down to ts after getting my stuffs for tomorrow. Felt the different atmosphere there. "is there some internal stuff going on?" haha!!! Actually i was supposed to catch a movie with bubu but last minutes she cant. She left after awhile and few more people came down. I was fun with group there. Enjoyed myself there better than less people. I left after 9plus and received a call from a friend, i call her my 'daughter'. haha! She came all the way down after work just to meet me up and pass me something. We had a small good talk at the bus stop while waiting for another friend. We all went to had supper at prata shop. I really thank her for making that effort coming all the way down when you are already tired. =D Appreciate It!!!!!!

listening - Can't Get You Out Of My Head by Kylie Minogue

my BloG.

2008-10-04T00:59:00.002+08:00

As this is my blog, I want to comment things as i like. =) haha.

First, Suck To Be Your Sincerity.
Second, Suck To Be Your Promises.
Third, Suck To Believe In You.
Forth, Suck To Be YOU!!!
and the list goes on...

I will believe in it when it happen like it should be.

GAP

2008-10-01T23:30:00.004+08:00

Made a wrong choice staying there. Anyway, met up with some friends after so long. Kinda hate the internal topics. People dont have to meet my needs or what but it is kind of rude to communicate internally. I guess it is the "gap's topic". Suck to be out of it. The gap is too obvious at times. Jealous? Ya, i think i am. Not saying that i want to but when it comes, the only thing to do is to TRY to avoid it. And i think i didnt do it well enough.

listening - You And Me by Lifehouse

Because of?

2008-10-01T18:44:00.003+08:00

It will be because of you when i move. Is a process of re-focusing and i know is tough from you. I'm gonna do it anyway. Believe that this feeling is a motivation or a energy to move. Something like, "Get it over and Done with."

Enough Already?

2008-10-01T17:31:00.004+08:00

Quite a few things to blog about this time.

Few weeks ago, i met this guy after church for a chat. While chatting half way through, he pop this question to what i am doing. He told me that it had been so long and if i thought of letting it up? I replied him that i am not too sure of it as i cannot see things clearly right now. Somehow, it ended with a expected understanding for both of us. And this thing, it is so IRRITATING that it keeps bugging me for an proper answer.

Next, I've been thinking about this. Informal leaders also known as Natural leaders are someone who emerge in respond to a power vacuum, whether or not the vacuum is evident. They are the ones who dare to speak up to their boss or higher authority that they're wrong. They are also the ones that doesnt use authority to work and they somehow have that authority that is higher than anyone else, as if they were appointed by a king or majority. On the social side, they are those that organize parties or events for gathering. Informal leaders are in it NOT for GAINS but to solve the problems for the big picture.

Formal leaders also known as Imposed leaders are those who sits at the office because he is given the authority to work there. He is new to it but higher in rank than you. You doesnt have a say in anything because he is the boss. He work things thru without leadership but authorities. Reminding of their status are no use to them. They still wont accomplish anything. This are Imposed leaders. They are in it for GAINS. Work things thru authorities and with lots of conflicts.

That's about all for what i can blog here. Observing for quite some time and i can see that there are only a handful of Imformal leaders in the church. Only a handful and how pitiful is that? Think about it and you might actually understand what i say.

the old times......

2008-09-28T03:34:00.002+08:00

Had a primary school gathering in the afternoon. Met them at orchard and went over to takashimaya's pepper lunch to have our lunch. Memories really hit back hard on me especially the thing that happen few years ago. We also went to far east and walked around then i went off to meet a friend for service. While walking, some kind of regrets came upon me. Felt like a burden to me. Thought about it and maybe i know why. Mood kind of change since then. Went to service with burden and tiredness. So throughout the whole sermon, i wasnt paying full attention yet im thinking about that stuff outside. Even after the service, my mood just isnt there to talk or play with people. Is definitely weird for me. So i went home early if not, i would have slack and chill out with people le.

One point to remind myself - You dont have to avoid regrets because whether you do or you dont, you will still feel the regret after the matter. People make stupid mistake everyday.

listening - Tattoo by Jordin Sparks

Long weekend.

2008-09-21T13:53:00.002+08:00

I'm having my long weekend next week!!! =D Kinda stupid to go in and come out the next day. You see, Im coming out on friday, going in the next thursday and coming out again the the next day which is friday. Don't you think is very trouyblesome? Well, is still a long weekend.

listening - Walking On The Moon by Cas Haley

RE-FoCuSiNG in ProcesS...

2008-09-21T01:59:00.003+08:00

Realise that i get tired easily this few days. I think is the trainings and stuffs im doing. Thou im feeling tired but meeting friends and chilling out is still what i prefer. This little small thing keep coming to me, i dont know what but im damn sure there's something. Kinda paranoid. Atmosphere changes very easily which is kinda irritating and pissed at times. Im starting to imagine more things in my life. Jealousy is one big shit that can happen in people's life. Small little thing can make it big and messy just because of JEALOUSY. That's what i learn few days ago. Anyway, let me re-focus on something else instead of YOU. Let me free from it will YOU. *YOU is kinda the third person/thing/thought im refering.*

One Question to april: How did we even get this close? And how did we come so far?

listening - The Quest by Bryn Christopher

It is all about Random-ness.

2008-09-14T13:13:00.002+08:00

My stomach haven't been feeling that well ever since monday. Don't even know why. Kind of sudden and i totally hate that feeling.

Today is Mid-Autum Festival and i just came back from duty. How shitty is it that you'll have to do duty on Saturday Morning and out on Sunday Morning AND go back in again at NIGHT? You decide. I want to go out and play candles. Come'on, i do enjoy playing fire. haha!!!! =x I still remember when im in primary school that time, i secretly play fire at my mom's bedroom and she found out and guess what's next? I'm outside of my house grabbing the metal grill door asking my mom to let me in. Think of that, is kind of I-dont-know feelings. hahaha!!!

I start reading this book 1 week ago and there are a lot of quotes/questions for me to write down. I'll do it next time when im more free.

listening - Home by Chris Daughtry

A reason.

2008-09-07T01:57:00.002+08:00

For the past few days, i've been searching for at least one reason for the thing im going to do. All along I thought i had the reason already but when it came to me again, it is like dealing it without the reason i already know. Feel kind of sucky. Somehow, i had the reason in my hand but i always gives in to it. But whatever it is, I HopE that i will still listen to my heart and do it with the reason i found.

listening - Grow Up by Simple Plan